E3 Report Card: Nintendo

I got up early(ish) for this? Nintendo, Nintendo, Nintendo... When will you learn that an E3 press conference shouldn't be a PowerPoint presentation that brags about how much hardware you've sold? Okay, so you did a little better this year by actually showing games that I want to play. It could have been worse. An Animal Crossing game featuring Bratz dolls doesn't seem unlikely at this point to me, so thanks for not sucking that much.

So what did you have for me Nintendo? Multiplayer co-op New Super Mario Bros. Wii? Okay. New Super Mario Bros. for the DS was pretty bland though. Some more Final Fantasy gaiden-type games? Alright, although those hardly ever set my heart alight. Okay, now how about you bore me for the next 20 minutes? You do that quite well, don't you? Zzzz... Huh? What's that? Super Mario Galaxy 2? Cool, finally we get to the good stuff! Okay, back to third party stuff I don't want... Oh, Metroid Other M? Nice! Oh, wait. It's from Team Ninja and it has talking in it? Did you ever play the atrocious Ninja Gaidens Nintendo? Team Ninja can't do story. All they do is crazy action with bad cameras and breast physics. I hope you know what you're doing Nintendo... It looks really fun though. Let's hope that turns out well. And fade to black.

Plus:

• Super Mario Galaxy 2
• New Super Mario Bros. Wii
  
• Metroid Other M

Minus:

• Metroid Other M being done by Team Ninja is worrisome
• New Super Mario Bros. Wii might be as mild as the DS game
  
• Boring third party software (as usual)
• No exciting DS software (Mario & Luigi 3 and Golden Sun DS look just "okay")
  
• Iwata talking about the Vitality Sensor
• Pie charts, numbers, blah, blah
• Nintendo thinks selling lots of hardware equates to having games to play on it
  

Overall grade:
C

Lots of "meh" from Nintendo this year, but if you listen to closely, the "mehs" are 20% more enthusiastic than last year's were. I didn't expect anything from Nintendo, because frankly they don't try anymore. On the flipside, now I can say that the Wii has a whole two more titles that I'd like to play on it. That's up from what, five? Six? Nintendo makes being cynical too easy, but thanks for trying with Mario Galaxy 2 and the new Metroid. A new console Zelda or a new IP would have been nice to go alongside them though...