As is the case with damn near everyone, I've been playing Grand Theft Auto IV. Now, instead of indulging it with the various praises (which it largely deserves), I'd like to point out some things that are missing from past games or things that just piss me off.
1) Fuck the police
Causing wanton destruction and disorder and then seeing how long you can outrun the law has always been a staple of the requisite "fun factor" for GTA. The latest edition to the franchise, however, seems to have a little trouble with this. Evading the police and actually living to see another day -- you know, actually having a chance of walking away from the scorched earth you tread upon? That's the part that's missing. Now you have to get outside a large, red circle on the map that indicates the police's "cone of vision" (to steal a phrase from Metal Gear Solid). This can be ridiculously difficult -- a paltry three stars now gives an actual challenge as the field from which you must escape is so vast. There are no more police bribes and Pay-N-Sprays are few and far between so your only choice is to run like hell.
2) They took our jerbs!
Another great thing that's missing from GTA IV is property. Now you only have a few safe houses that are given to you through the course of the storyline. That's bad enough not being able to just drive to a nearby savepoint (although, to be fair, you could fast travel in a cab to get to a safe house) and store all your sweet cars, but the other thing that's missing is the entrepreneurial spirit. In other words, forget about your dreams of having a car lot or ice cream shop where you can make additional revenue. That's gone. There's no pimping, no firetruck or paramedic missions, no pizza delivering. Nothing. All that small stuff that amounted to a lot of fun is missing, all in favor of providing a more "real experience." Not that that matters because now...
3) Money don't mean shit
What can you use your money for anyway? You can buy some clothes and build up your arsenal a bit. That's it. You don't have any houses to buy. You can't go shopping on the internet (correct me if I'm wrong there). I haven't found anywhere where I can buy cars (I've stolen them, sure, but I don't see an option to then purchase them) and you can't gamble it away either. So what is the point?
You know, I was just thinking that a neat feature they could have put in would be radio contests. I'm sure you're familiar with the situation: "Be the tenth caller and receive $10,000 in cold, hard cash!" You've got a cell phone now, so this is possible, but what the hell is the purpose of getting all those ducats?
4) Silence is golden...
You know what's great? Looking for pigeons (the new hidden packages) and blasting them to pieces only to have to outrun the cops seconds later. If there's a police officer in the vicinity of gunfire (and of course there is, those bastards are always lurking somewhere unseen), you've got one star. There are 200 of these motherfuckers spread throughout the city. Thanks a lot, Rockstar, you fucking bastards. This wouldn't be so bad if I still had my silenced pistol from San Andreas or if I didn't have to kill these fucking avian menaces instead of just picking up some horseshoes or tiki statues.
(While we're on the subject of hidden packages, why are there no incremental rewards for finding them? And what use is a helicopter for finding all 200?)
5) Harder, better, faster, stronger
Another great feature that's missing? Making your character better. San Andreas introduced some light roleplaying elements where CJ would improve his driving or shooting skills amongst other things such as his physical attributes. It was fun actually seeing your skills improve so that you could be a better killing machine, physically dominate those around you, have a better chance of evading the police in your car or just be comforted in knowing that your character was intrinsically better. Now your character Nico is just a static character (in terms of abilities) with a silly accent that wears thin pretty quickly.
I've got other complaints, but the big take away is this: Rockstar thinks it's a better idea to make the game more "realistic" rather than letting players fuck around and have fun with the world they've created. I think they should get over themselves. It's a game. GTA is about having big, dumb fun with the city as your canvas. After all, it's plot is derived solely from mobster movies and it doesn't come anywhere close to any of them in terms of narrative. So, Rockstar, why so serious? If you wanted to create a more serious and realistic story that's interesting and memorable, I'm sorry to tell you that you've failed (at least in my eyes).
Unrelated bonus question: Could you help but look at the gorgeous cityscape Rockstar has created and not think about how fun it would be to leap from building to building collecting agility orbs as in Crackdown?
Well, that's my two cents.
1) Fuck the police
Causing wanton destruction and disorder and then seeing how long you can outrun the law has always been a staple of the requisite "fun factor" for GTA. The latest edition to the franchise, however, seems to have a little trouble with this. Evading the police and actually living to see another day -- you know, actually having a chance of walking away from the scorched earth you tread upon? That's the part that's missing. Now you have to get outside a large, red circle on the map that indicates the police's "cone of vision" (to steal a phrase from Metal Gear Solid). This can be ridiculously difficult -- a paltry three stars now gives an actual challenge as the field from which you must escape is so vast. There are no more police bribes and Pay-N-Sprays are few and far between so your only choice is to run like hell.
2) They took our jerbs!
Another great thing that's missing from GTA IV is property. Now you only have a few safe houses that are given to you through the course of the storyline. That's bad enough not being able to just drive to a nearby savepoint (although, to be fair, you could fast travel in a cab to get to a safe house) and store all your sweet cars, but the other thing that's missing is the entrepreneurial spirit. In other words, forget about your dreams of having a car lot or ice cream shop where you can make additional revenue. That's gone. There's no pimping, no firetruck or paramedic missions, no pizza delivering. Nothing. All that small stuff that amounted to a lot of fun is missing, all in favor of providing a more "real experience." Not that that matters because now...
3) Money don't mean shit
What can you use your money for anyway? You can buy some clothes and build up your arsenal a bit. That's it. You don't have any houses to buy. You can't go shopping on the internet (correct me if I'm wrong there). I haven't found anywhere where I can buy cars (I've stolen them, sure, but I don't see an option to then purchase them) and you can't gamble it away either. So what is the point?
You know, I was just thinking that a neat feature they could have put in would be radio contests. I'm sure you're familiar with the situation: "Be the tenth caller and receive $10,000 in cold, hard cash!" You've got a cell phone now, so this is possible, but what the hell is the purpose of getting all those ducats?
4) Silence is golden...
You know what's great? Looking for pigeons (the new hidden packages) and blasting them to pieces only to have to outrun the cops seconds later. If there's a police officer in the vicinity of gunfire (and of course there is, those bastards are always lurking somewhere unseen), you've got one star. There are 200 of these motherfuckers spread throughout the city. Thanks a lot, Rockstar, you fucking bastards. This wouldn't be so bad if I still had my silenced pistol from San Andreas or if I didn't have to kill these fucking avian menaces instead of just picking up some horseshoes or tiki statues.
(While we're on the subject of hidden packages, why are there no incremental rewards for finding them? And what use is a helicopter for finding all 200?)
5) Harder, better, faster, stronger
Another great feature that's missing? Making your character better. San Andreas introduced some light roleplaying elements where CJ would improve his driving or shooting skills amongst other things such as his physical attributes. It was fun actually seeing your skills improve so that you could be a better killing machine, physically dominate those around you, have a better chance of evading the police in your car or just be comforted in knowing that your character was intrinsically better. Now your character Nico is just a static character (in terms of abilities) with a silly accent that wears thin pretty quickly.
I've got other complaints, but the big take away is this: Rockstar thinks it's a better idea to make the game more "realistic" rather than letting players fuck around and have fun with the world they've created. I think they should get over themselves. It's a game. GTA is about having big, dumb fun with the city as your canvas. After all, it's plot is derived solely from mobster movies and it doesn't come anywhere close to any of them in terms of narrative. So, Rockstar, why so serious? If you wanted to create a more serious and realistic story that's interesting and memorable, I'm sorry to tell you that you've failed (at least in my eyes).
Unrelated bonus question: Could you help but look at the gorgeous cityscape Rockstar has created and not think about how fun it would be to leap from building to building collecting agility orbs as in Crackdown?
Well, that's my two cents.
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