Cloverfield seemed like it had a lot of hype. It started with that motion sickness-inducing trailer that showed before Transformers last summer. Nothing was really revealed -- not even a title. So a lot of nerds where spraying their shorts, but I wasn't impressed. I didn't even really want to watch the movie, but I had a cold and I needed something to do.
Cloverfield is really like having your own "frat bro," but instead of him commenting on the movie while you're watching it, he's actually in the movie commenting about what's going on or what happened thirty seconds ago. "Hey, remember that time that thing almost got us and then you whacked it with that pipe? ... What was up with that?" (Sadly, that's not too far from paraphrasing an actual quote from the movie.)
The "dude's" name is Hud, as in Heads Up Display. (If you've ever played a first-person videogame, you know what this is.) He plays the part of the camera man in the movie. He's not very bright, he's very irritating and he has a crush on a bitchy girl that clearly has no interest in him, but being that he's naive and with the mental capacity of crayfish, he just keeps trying to get her to notice him. I would hate to think what would have happened in the movie where the two allowed to be left together in a room drunkenly trying to converse, because this is exactly what Hud's dialogue would sound like: "Hey! Have you ever, like, thought about the universe and stuff?" Then he attempts a keg stand.
Hud is also a puppy starved for attention. He's constantly trying to get his friend Rob to notice him. "Hey Rob! ... Rob! ... Rob! ... Hey! Look at this!" Rob himself isn't much better than Hud. Thankfully, he talks far less, but he's also irritatingly moody. He's upset because a girl that he likes and had sex with once (Beth) is trapped in her apartment and he decides to forgo relative safety so that he can go save her. Also tagging along for the rescue is a token ethnic girl who is unimportant and that bitchy girl that Hud has a thing for. It's kind of hard to warm up to these whiny yuppies, so it makes the movie all the worse.
So far I've only talked about the characters in the movie. "Isn't Cloverfield supposed to be a monster movie like Godzilla?" you ask. Yes it is -- but just barely. The promotional team behind Cloverfield may have tried to hide the identity of the monster from the public to build suspense, but really, it's fairly generic and unimpressive. Imagine drawing a fleshy, spider-like monster in your high school Trapper Keeper. I'd wager that what you draw is far more badass and worthy of being made into Judas Priest album cover than what the Cloverfield team came up with.
In the end, Cloverfield is a movie that had no business being made. Have you seen The Blair Witch Project? Have you seen Godzilla? Then you know almost exactly what Cloverfield is like. It is not in the least original or interesting, which is probably why the ad campaign was so damn mysterious. So how do you get people to go and see a movie they've already seen? Don't tell them shit, that's how. Thanks, Cloverfield ad team. You played us all for suckers.
Overall Grade:
D+
Cloverfield is really like having your own "frat bro," but instead of him commenting on the movie while you're watching it, he's actually in the movie commenting about what's going on or what happened thirty seconds ago. "Hey, remember that time that thing almost got us and then you whacked it with that pipe? ... What was up with that?" (Sadly, that's not too far from paraphrasing an actual quote from the movie.)
The "dude's" name is Hud, as in Heads Up Display. (If you've ever played a first-person videogame, you know what this is.) He plays the part of the camera man in the movie. He's not very bright, he's very irritating and he has a crush on a bitchy girl that clearly has no interest in him, but being that he's naive and with the mental capacity of crayfish, he just keeps trying to get her to notice him. I would hate to think what would have happened in the movie where the two allowed to be left together in a room drunkenly trying to converse, because this is exactly what Hud's dialogue would sound like: "Hey! Have you ever, like, thought about the universe and stuff?" Then he attempts a keg stand.
Hud is also a puppy starved for attention. He's constantly trying to get his friend Rob to notice him. "Hey Rob! ... Rob! ... Rob! ... Hey! Look at this!" Rob himself isn't much better than Hud. Thankfully, he talks far less, but he's also irritatingly moody. He's upset because a girl that he likes and had sex with once (Beth) is trapped in her apartment and he decides to forgo relative safety so that he can go save her. Also tagging along for the rescue is a token ethnic girl who is unimportant and that bitchy girl that Hud has a thing for. It's kind of hard to warm up to these whiny yuppies, so it makes the movie all the worse.
So far I've only talked about the characters in the movie. "Isn't Cloverfield supposed to be a monster movie like Godzilla?" you ask. Yes it is -- but just barely. The promotional team behind Cloverfield may have tried to hide the identity of the monster from the public to build suspense, but really, it's fairly generic and unimpressive. Imagine drawing a fleshy, spider-like monster in your high school Trapper Keeper. I'd wager that what you draw is far more badass and worthy of being made into Judas Priest album cover than what the Cloverfield team came up with.
In the end, Cloverfield is a movie that had no business being made. Have you seen The Blair Witch Project? Have you seen Godzilla? Then you know almost exactly what Cloverfield is like. It is not in the least original or interesting, which is probably why the ad campaign was so damn mysterious. So how do you get people to go and see a movie they've already seen? Don't tell them shit, that's how. Thanks, Cloverfield ad team. You played us all for suckers.
Overall Grade:
D+
2 comments:
Oh yeah, Hud also reminds me of Thanh Li.
LOL Than Li
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